Movie Revue: Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

Indy's back, and this time he's protecting America from the Reds. A team of Commies is after the Crystal Skull, which promises its owner infinite power. Or something like that. Anyway, it's up to everyone's favorite secret agent/professor to find the skull first, with the help of another professor, an ex-girlfriend, and a young man who has a strange connection to Dr. Jones.

Johnny says: It was extremely funny, especially a scene where the young man (Shia LaBoeuf) uses a snake as a rope to save Indy and his girlfriend Marion from something that acts a lot like quicksand (but isn't). We also find out Indy's real first name, Henry. That especially plays an important part in another funny scene where Indy meets his old partner, "Ox" (Henry Oxley, played by John Hurt). I really can't mention all the other funny things, because there are just too many. I give this movie....four and a half stars out of five.

Monica says: I wanted to like this movie. I really did. But somewhere in between Indy's surviving the nuclear warhead test by climbing into a refrigerator, and the third time their boat went over the waterfall, I realized even I have a limit to my suspension of disbelief. The stunts that Indy and Co. pull are simply physically impossible, and I only forgive breaking the laws of physics if one of the characters has fangs and/or superpowers. I haven't seen all of the other "Indiana Jones" movies, but "Raiders of the Lost Ark" wasn't nearly as ridiculous. The acting is good, but the plot was just too weird for me. I won't even go into the end, when it is revealed who (or what) is behind the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, which happens to be the same as El Dorado. I came up with an alternate title, which I won't post here because it gives away the end. But in my opinion, it's a better title than "Kingdom of the Crystal Skull."

I can't wait until this movie comes out on DVD, because it will undoubtedly get the RiffTrax treatment from Mike Nelson and the rest of his buddies (check out RiffTrax! It's MST3k for blockbuster movies!). Johnny and I were riffing the movie to each other already, so I'd love to have the professionals take a crack at it. Still, "Kingdom of the Crystal Skull" was enjoyable, and there were some pretty cool scenes. I also laughed a lot, but some of the laughter was from how impossible it was. I'd give the movie three out of five stars.

Total: 7 1/2 out of 10.

Johnny and I recorded our next episode of Video Revue, but I don't know when it'll be up. Our good friends over at Subject Cinema, who do the final edit for our show and post it on Podshow, are going through some pretty scary stuff right now: Kim, who's been battling some unidentifiable illness since March, has spent the past two days in the ER. Yikes. Kim, we're praying for you and TC. Your first job is to get well.